And today I read

“Lindsay Lohan Fights, Tweets For Cash, Holds A Gun To Her Mouth, Pulls The Trigger, Buried Near Marilyn Monroe, Re-animates Unbeknown To Others, Digs Own Way Out Of Grave, Secures Book Deal, Secures Movie Deal, Back In Rehab, Runs For President, Poet Laurette, Begins Visible Decay, Ready To Go Red Giant, Gives Up Los Angeles Un-Life, Returns To Los Angeles Un-Life, Gives Up Los Angeles Un-Life, Moves To New England, Wants White Picket Fence, Saves The Whales In Plastic Bags, Poses For Strange Photo Shoot, Applauded, Mocked, Loved, Gets A New Mother, Fails At Understanding Love, Shares Angry Thoughts, Bonds With Free Radicals, Drowns Sorrows, Forgot About Dre (and Those Whales Beginning To Go Bad In Those Plastic Bags), To Play XXX Star, To Be XXX Star, Raided By Cops, Financially Sober But Destitute, Father Calls For Resurrection, Too Depressed To Not Go On, Asks For More, Wants Less, Given Every Last Thing Except That, Burns All Our Credit Cards, All Of Them, Wouldn’t Go To The Mountain, The Mountain Came To Her, Goes To War Perpetually, Horatio Alger Story, Tired, Selects Final Resting Place, Fills The World With Tears, Yours And Mine”